Ever since I was a young girl I can recall my Mum taking photos. She has always had a passion for it, although can be a bit of a perfectionist. In her early late teens/early twenties she went to college and studied art, photography and graphic design. That was before graphic designers used computers. She has also has done photoshop courses at our local community college. When taking photos, I don’t know how many times I can recall her saying things like ‘move a bit this way, look that way, smile, don’t look so stiff’. She would keep taking photos until she was satisfied, some times it would annoy people at family events because we had to smile for so long and get so many photos. I always found it a good thing because I like to take photos too and she takes good photos. She could easily have been a professional photographer.
I think I have learned a lot from my Mum when it comes to taking photos and editing them. I have a decent cannon camera which I have used for special occasions like Christmas and birthdays. In my computer I have folders of photos and they are all sorted in to years, months and days. I enjoy putting together photobooks and photo videos but I have never really learned how to use all the functions of my camera. There is so much more I could do with my camera. I’m sure I will learn more and do more one day. Over the Easter weekend, I was excited for the first time to use my camera creatively. I did experiment a bit with my distance lense although it was a bit hard to get a decent photo with the kids and I hadn’t gone out specifically to take photos. It was still good to try the lense for the first time. I look forward to going out kid free and taking some photos of nice scenery. However I did take some photos of other things which have turned out ok. I would really like to get a macro lense. In my next life I may be a professional photographer but in this life I enjoy it as a hobby.
My Mum is brilliant artist. I have never been as good at art as she is. I’ve always tended to write more, however I don’t mind drawing occasionally. I discovered pastels and I quite enjoy doing pastel drawings. This is a heart pastel drawing I did last year.
I think we worry way to much what others think. Now this coming from me is like the pot calling the kettle black. Through out my life I was probably the queen of worrying too much about what others thought but I got tired of it because I wasn’t enjoying life as much as I could have been or really going for my dreams. I was holding back way too much and I realised that I was worrying about what others though because I needed reassurance. I wasn’t able to find that reassurance with in myself. I was constantly doubting and criticising myself. There fore I was seeking approval outside of myself. I mentioned in my previous blogs that we already have all the love, all the power and all strength with in. We can’t find it elsewhere, we create happiness within. I needed to find these things with in and only when I began to find them with in myself was I able to not worry so much about what other people thought.
I realised I just had to be myself, follow my heart and do the things I love. No more holding back and no more bringing myself down. Nothing and no one else was bringing me down, they didn’t have to, I was doing a good enough job of that myself. Many times I have said writing is my passion. Yet it brought so much inner conflict because I so much wanted to write, yet I held back out of fear. Fear that my writing wasn’t good enough, fear that I would say the wrong thing and upset some one. A part of me felt I had so much to share, yet another part just wanted to hide under rock.
I had to push past my insecurities and go for it any way. Writing is not only my passion but my purpose for writing out weighed anything that was holding me back. A big part of wanting to write is share my story and I hope to encourage, empower and inspire people, especially women who have gone through similar things. No matter what you are going through there is always some one out there experiencing or who has experienced the same. We aren’t alone and no matter how hard things get, we can rise above them. I’m very passionate about shining a light on mental health, domestic violence and sexual assault. I want to shine a light because I’ve experienced these things and I want to help others who have experienced these things. I think raising awareness is important but also education. I think society has made progress with awareness but there is still a lot of misconceptions out there and sadly these type of things are far to common. Ideally it would never happen but that’s a bit unrealistic to expect. I think domestic violence and sexual assault statistics can be greatly improved. I believe as a society, as friends, family, co workers we can better understand these things and support each other. These are my reasons for wanting to write, far out weigh any discomfort I may have.
Helping people to rise up again and sharing our stories makes me feel I have purpose in my life. I feel I’m doing something worthwhile and contributing my little bit to society. It might not be a lot, but I’m still doing my bit and it happens to be with something I love. What ever makes your heart sing, do more of that. If you want to find your purpose in your life, then follow the things you are passionate about., they will lead you to your purpose. No matter what you do, some one is not going to like it. We can’t please every one, so we may as well do what makes us happy. As much as I want to share my story, connect with others, yet also try to be respectful, thoughtful and tactful when including others in my writing, there will always be some one who takes it the wrong way. There will always be some one who doesn’t like it or judges and that’s fair enough. every one is entitled to their own opinion. At the end of the day I have to follow my heart and be true to myself. It is impossible to please everyone. No matter what it is that you are doing, if you love what you are doing, then I encourage you to go for it.
I am currently sorting out the storage boxes underneath my bed. One if them is full of journals that date back until 2000 when I was 20 and the are a couple of poems from when I was a teenager.
I briefly skimmed through some of my journals that were filled with achievements of new jobs and finishing my studies. Fun times and struggles with friends and relationships. Marriage, divorce, travel, deep thinking, deep feeling, creativity and the list goes on. It is interesting to see how in some ways I have changed and in others I’m still the same. Even though I’ve grown a lot, I seem to have made the same mistakes, had the same difficulties and learned the same lessons over and over, but in different ways. Although many journeys and experiences it seemed I often came back to writing about the same thoughts and feelings. I was 20 when I wrote my oldest journal and now I’m 36 1/2. I’m still as sensitive, deep and creative as ever. I still love my music but I would say now I’m a lot more confident in myself, grounded and objective. My emotions used to blow me around like the wind but now, well most of the time I’m bit more like a tree with strong roots. I think these type of changes are probably normal as people get older. I did notice a change in my style of writing when I went through my Christian phase. I was much more rigid, self critical and self judgmental. In hindsight I don’t know how I ever got involved with a pentecostal church. It did seem to attract those who were vulnerable and I was vulnerable at the time. My church experience is a whole other story.
I always put so much effort into my journals. I would buy either journals with a beautiful cover and others I especially bough contact and beautiful stickers to cover them with. Most journals had a title page with lovely colorful pictures I had drawn. The titles was either journal, dreams, spiritual or poems. Some journals are filled and others have heaps of spare pages. So I ripped out the few written pages and now I must have about a dozen empty journals that I can write in, yay!
Now over a period time I plan to type my journals out into word and store them on my external hard drive. I’ve been planning to do this for a long time and finally getting around to starting. They just take up so much room. It will be good clear them out from under my bed, I don’t think I need to keep my whole life under my bed any more.
Most of all sorting going through my journals has been a big reminder to write. It has been such a big part of my life since I was twelve years old. Since having kids I don’t write very often any more. I bought a packet of colorful gel pens from Aldi recently. Now I now what they will be for 🙂
Welcome to my new blog. Who Am I and why am I writing a blog?
My name is Kym, I’m 36 year old Mum to four kids. I have three girls ages six, five and three. My little boy is fourteen months. I am really looking forward writing and sharing some of my life, thoughts and even challenges. I have kept a journal since I was twelve and have a box of old journals here. I have always loved to write. There isn’t anything specific that I right about. I write about life. The joys, challenges and even character building that has come from being a busy Mum of four young kids is often infused through my writing. My main reasons for sharing my writing is to somehow inspire and empower people. Maybe someone out there will be inspired or empowered by what I write about, maybe someone can relate to some of the things I go through. There is always someone out there who is thinking, feeling or experiencing the same or similar. If this blog inspires even just one person, if even just one person can relate to some of the things I write, then it is worth it. It will also be a good keepsake for me to look back on and read.
I have a lot to more to say when I write compared to when I speak. I actually find it easier to write than speak. Face to face I am a bit more introvert and awkward. I am quite inquisitive, deep and I’d consider myself a spiritual person. At times I may even sound wise and sometimes I also come across as completely random or scatterbrained, lol. My husband Steve has said I can be both the dumbest and smartest person he knows. I love music and listen to many genres. I am learning the piano and go to Zumba a couple of times a week because I love to dance. I do try to eat well and exercise but I also sometimes eat too much chocolate and biscuits. Especially at night when everyone is in bed and I’m folding loads of washing whilst watching Netflix and drinking tea (or Jack Daniels.)
I am also a pranic healer. People often ask me what pranic healing is. It is a form of energy healing, sort of like reiki. Although both are energy healing modalities, they are quite different. Before I had kids I used to meditate every day but these days it is rarely. I usually fall asleep when I meditate these days. My other passion is for human rights and social justice. I am a White Ribbon Advocate and Care for the Coast Volunteer and drop off point. In the past I have experienced domestic violence. I have always wanted to make a difference and help people, especially people in crisis, who have experienced domestic violence, homelessness, and mental health issues. I can’t change the whole world but I think every little bit counts. I do struggle between wanting to do these things and being a socially awkward introvert. Therefore there’s another part of me wanting to hide and make a difference from the back ground where no one knows it’s me. Even posting on FB and writing blogs is confronting for me. The words come easy, I feel I have something to say, every one may not be interested and that’s ok. It will draw people who resonate. I find the difficultly in sharing what I have written. I just keep pushing through it because I think all this sort of stuff is important and it would be a shame to not do anything because I felt awkward.
So this is who I am and why I’m writing a blog. May we empower and inspire each other.