We all carry unforgiveness at some point in our life. Often it is over trivial things and it is therefore easy to forgive. Sometimes things are a bit hard to forgive and may take weeks, months or even years. Then there’s the type of wound that is so deep, we never completely heal. There will always be a scar as a reminder. Sometimes we have trouble forgiving some of the smaller things, how on earth can we forgive these life altering and unforgivable things? The best thing to do is start with the smaller things and make this a regular daily practise. Then work your way up to the bigger thing. Always remember that forgiveness does not excuse another persons behaviour, it doesn’t make it ok. If they have done wrong they deserve their own karma and if they have broken the law, they deserve the consequences of breaking the law.
Forgiveness does not mean that you have to remain in contact with a person. You can still forgive some one and have nothing to do with them. When you hold resentment and unforgiveness in your heart, it is actually more damaging to yourself than to the other person. It is even more frustrating to be hurting so deeply when you are not even registering on the other persons radar. Forgive for your benefit, not because the other person deserves it but you deserve to be from. Carrying unforgiveness is a burden and carrying the negative thoughts and emotions is heavy. It weights us down and this type of negativity can impact us physically. Our immune system weakens, symptoms similar to fibromyalgia and burn out can manifest in our bodies. It seems rather unfair that the other person seems to have no repercussions whilst day in day out you are struggling emotionally and physically. You can not do anything about them, they have their own karma coming but you can do something about how you are. Being able to rise above, from victim to victor is the ultimate power.
Despite what has happened to you or what any one did, you have become a stronger and better person. If some one treats your poorly, that is a reflection on them. Normal people don’t go around causing harm to others and taking advantage of them. Some one who is causing harm to others is suffering with in themselves. Due to this suffering they are not fulfilled. Their behaviour is a reflection of how they feel about themselves and the things they are lacking. They are trying to fill that lack in ways that harm others. Try to remember this when practising forgiveness. They may be suffering but suffering within is not an excuse to cause harm to others. We can’t force other people to be accountable for their behaviour. The best we can do is to acknowledge they are suffering and hope that one day they will take responsibility for their own behaviour and there for chose not to harm.
Practising forgiveness can be as simple as saying something along the lines of;
I forgive “insert name”, I understand their actions and behaviour is a reflection of their own internal suffering. I release ‘insert name’ to their highest good.’
. Another very important person to forgive is yourself. We can be very hard on ourselves and put ourselves down for everything we did or didn’t do should or shouldn’t have done. When forgiving yourself it can also a simple line like the following;
I forgive myself for ‘insert reason/s why you are forgiving yourself’. I know I am not perfect and just like every one else, I too have my own challenges and sufferings. I was doing the best I could at the time and my best is good enough.
Repeat forgiveness of others and yourself as often as necessary, whether it be days, weeks, months or years. It may take a while for you to begin to feel the benefits, but you will feel much lighter when you do. Good luck with it ❤