I love the saying ‘do not compare your life to some one else’s highlight reel’. It is so true because social media is mainly everyone’s best moments and best photo’s. They may have had a really shitty week but a great happy photo gives the illusion that they have this awesome life. When in reality no one has a perfect life, every one still has to mow their own grass. I’m sure my writing and social media can give the impression that I’m having this awesome life. Yes I love taking photos, I could easily have become a photographer. Yes I love sharing inspiring and empowering quotes. They make me feel good and I want other people to feel happy and inspired too. However my life isn’t as great as it may appear to be on social media. I’m a regular Mum, who gets tired from kids waking during the night, who gets stressed because the kids whinge and fight, who’s house is a mess no matter how much I clean it, who probably often sounds like the drill sergeant when trying to get my kids four organised or even to listen. I always have washing up to my ears and I’m running the kids around to dancing and birthday parties. There’s no unicorns and rainbows.
I think I could even join the bad Moms club because there have been times when the kids are asleep that I’ve had a drink. I know having a drink is pretty normal thing for Mum’s to do. There has been times I got carried away and drank too much. Which really sucks when you still have to get up at 6am with all the kids, get them ready and do the school run. One time I got carried away I was supposed to be doing dishes and house work. I listened to some dance music on my head phones, decided to have couple of shots of tequila and ended up having a lot more than a couple. So the next morning my seven year old made rice bubbles for my 5, 4 and 2 year old. She also changed my 2 year olds nappy, dressed him and cleaned his teeth. That just sounds so bad, but it is something she sometimes does any way. It is not as though I had such a bad hang over that she had to everything. She was a great help though. I managed to do the school drop off. Came home put Foxtel on for the kids while I had a little lay down and when I got up there was rice bubbles and milk all over the table, the floor and in my 2 year old hair. The lounge and rug were covered in squashed muffin and millions of crumbs. I didn’t fall asleep and I could hear them the whole time but it served me right, I wasn’t paying attention. So this is a photo of me recovering in the hall after vacuuming the mess up. I was sitting in the shower earlier that morning doing the same thing. I definitely don’t want to do that again. Now all the keyboard warriors can now come and tell me how perfect they are how much of a shit Mum I am. Lesson learned and I’m doing my best in life.
So I have finally reached a point in my life where I have found a little bit of confidence, where anxiety doesn’t control me any more. I have found that little bit of motivation to look after myself and I’m generally in a good space but I’m still a regular Mum and I have had my moments where I cry a quiet tear, the difference is I don’t stay there. I kick myself up the bum and get on with it. I come back to my good space. Hooray it is so amazing to finally be in a good space most of the time. I just want the same for any one else who is struggling. That is why I write. It’s not only therapeutic but I want to say to people who have struggled with mental healthy, people who have been victims of things like domestic violence and child sexual assault that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can move past it and turn you life around from being victim to being empowered.