I’ve always been a writer

Lol this made me laugh 🙂 

I am currently sorting out the storage boxes underneath my bed. One if them is full of journals that date back until 2000 when I was 20 and the are a couple of poems from when I was a teenager.

I briefly skimmed through some of my journals that were filled with achievements of new jobs and finishing my studies. Fun times and struggles with  friends and relationships. Marriage, divorce,  travel, deep thinking, deep feeling, creativity and the list goes on. It is interesting  to see how in some ways I have changed and in others I’m still the same. Even though I’ve grown a lot, I seem to have made the same mistakes, had the same difficulties and learned the same lessons over and over, but in different ways. Although many journeys and experiences it seemed I often came back to writing about the same thoughts and feelings. I was 20 when I wrote my oldest journal and now I’m 36 1/2. I’m still as sensitive, deep and creative as ever. I still love my music but I would say now I’m a lot more confident in myself, grounded and objective. My emotions used to blow me around like the wind but now, well most of the time I’m bit more like a tree with strong roots. I think these type of changes are probably normal as people get older. I did notice a change in my style of writing when I went through my Christian phase. I was much more rigid, self critical and self judgmental. In hindsight I don’t know how I ever got involved with a pentecostal church. It did seem to attract those who were vulnerable and I was vulnerable at the time. My church experience is a whole other story.

I always put so much effort into my journals. I would buy either journals with a beautiful cover and others I especially bough contact and beautiful stickers to cover them with. Most journals had a title page with lovely colorful pictures I had drawn. The titles was either journal, dreams, spiritual or poems. Some journals are filled and others have heaps of spare pages. So I ripped out the few written pages and now I must have about a dozen empty journals that I can write in, yay!  

Now over a period time I plan to type my journals out into word and store them on my external hard drive.  I’ve been planning to do this for a long time and finally getting around to starting. They just take up so much room. It will be good clear them out from under my bed, I don’t think I need to keep my whole life under my bed any more. 

Most of all sorting going through my journals has been a big reminder to write. It has been such a big part of my life since I was twelve years old. Since having kids I don’t write very often any more. I bought a packet of colorful gel pens from Aldi recently. Now I now what they will be for 🙂

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