Mum’s it is time we saw how amazing we really are…..
I have always had a tendency to bloat which gives the impression I could be pregnant. Since I was 19 I’ve been asked if I was pregnant or when is the baby due. Four kids later and I think I was quite small when 19. I have no idea how any one could have thought I was pregnant back then. I would be stoked if I had my size 10, 19 year old body now. Maybe because when I bloated I wasn’t the stereotypical flat like the models in the magazines or movie stars on your tv screen. I mean who is that flat any way? I know there are people who are and good for them but it’s not reality to expect every one to be like that. Nor should any one ever feel inadequate because they aren’t don’t have a wash board body. At least the Marilyn Monroe, 1950’s look was a bit more realistic when it comes to women’s bodies.
TV and Magazines are not reality, there is a lot of make up, angles and lighting involved. We know all this, but why are we so hard on ourselves and why do so many people believe you must be doing something wrong or not trying hard enough if you can’t loose weight or achieve a flat stomach? Looking at this collage of me, there’s a pic on the very right which is actually how my belly looks at the moment. There’s also a photo in there that I took by accident and it was a very bad angle. The rest are all much better angles. I’m looking much nicer in the photo’s with better angles and also look skinnier than I actually am.
Looking at the pictures of my belly during my four pregnancies. I was very big. The babies were fairly big. They were 9.4, 9.5, 9.3 and 8.87lb. I also had a lot of fluid, suspect I have abdominal muscle separation, loss in skin elasticity and had a C-section with my fourth. Some people may completely loose their tummy after having kids. That’s great for them. I never like to say never, but for me and many other women, it may never happen. No matter how hard you try or what you do, there may always be a little post baby belly. I can live with that. All the babies were healthy and are growing into beautiful little people. Good health and being happy is most important. It was all worth it and my post babies belly is a reminder of that. It is an achievement. So all I can do is my best and be happy with who I am. That’s all any one can do. I’m now prepared to be asked if I’m pregnant for the rest of my life. We’ll at least until I look too old to be pregnant. I’ve joked around with friends before about saying ‘oh it’s not a baby, I just like cake’. Besides I don’t think I’m doing too bad after having four kids. I know there a lot people out there who are much bigger than me and I can only imagine that the comments, self-criticism and criticism from others must be horrendous. For me it can be a nuisance but I know some people are having much bigger battles. It’s also pefectly fine if you aren’t there yet. I’ve been there before where I’m struggling to keep my head above water. It’s taken time and didn’t happen over night. There’s been many failures and stopping and start with eating and especially exercise. I don’t really like the word failure, I see it more as learning.
At the end of the day, photos at good angles don’t make me feel better about myself. I feel better knowing that I have four beautiful kids. I feel better about myself knowing I do my best to look after my well-being. I try to eat healthy and exercise. I do Zumba at least a couple of times a week and try to do sit ups regularly. Well that was up until the Christmas period but I’m getting back into it now. I have actually muscle behind my post baby belly . I know I’m eating the right foods and having the right calories because I have a calorie counting app. The app has helped to curb my tendency to binge eat chocolate or biscuits at times. I was doing that for the energy boost because I found having four kids was so tiring. I know a little bit about nutrition because I was studying an advanced diploma nutritional medicine. That was until my course became obsolete while I was busy having kids. I now make sure I eat the right food because I discovered if I under eat, then the body stores fat to compensate. I could go on and one but I don’t really need to explain everything I have tried or that I’m doing. I could write a book on what not do do’s, what I’ve tried and what I’m doing.
So to the Mummies who have bounced back and have a great body. Congratulations, it is wonderful you were able to do it and found something that works for you. To the Mummies who are working on it but have still have work to do, keep preserving and do what works for you. To the Mummies who have done a lot of research, tried a lot of things and are putting in a lot of effort but feel you may never completely loose your baby tummy. The body is put under so much pressure during pregnancy and. it is completely normal if you are having trouble getting back to your pre-baby body. There are some medical reasons why such as abdominal muscle separation, loss of skin elasticity, having a caesarean. Then there’s also different metabolisms and body types. Whatever the reason, reality is we may not be what we were before any pregnancies. I know most of us expected we’d bounce back. It is good to be positive, but before kids most of us are also bit idealistic in our expectations of parenthood and our post pregnancy bodies. It is something you don’t really understand until you experience it.
I just wanted to say I think all you Mum’s are amazing. Keep being the awesome Mum that you are. In this modern-day it can be easy to forget that parenting can be the hardest job in the world. It is a 24/7 job, with little rest and not much time for yourself. Well done for all your perseverance and hard work, it’s not easy to do things for yourself when you have young kids. It is fantastic that you are putting the effort in to look after your wellbeing. Don’t be too hard on yourself. There is no one approach that fits all. What may work for one person may not work for anther. It’s pointless to think just because one thing works for one person that it will work for all. Our bodies all deal with pregnancy and post pregnancy differently. It is time society get’s rid of this unrealistic belief about how our bodies should be. It is time we got rid of this attitude that we are doing something wrong or not trying hard enough if we can’t achieve this so-called ideal body. We need to build Mum’s up. The body does amazing things during pregnancy and birth. Mum’s do an amazing job at raising their kids. I know people think they might be helping by trying to give lots of advice and suggestions on what we should be doing, but the advice has to be asked for. It has to be wanted, otherwise t is actually not helpful at all because we are very aware of our post baby bodies. Too many off us despair over whether we a being a good parent or not. Too many of us are battling to find our own self-love and acceptance. We are tired and stressed from being busy Mum’s but despite this exhaustion we are still trying to put in a lot of effort and doing the best we can.We don’t need any one, including ourselves to be telling us otherwise.
Mum’s it is time we saw how amazing we really are………..